FLdewey

Anyone who knows me would tell you not to get me started.


But now you have...and you have no one to thank but yourself...

To be continued....

LOL

Dont have any pirate jokes....

but theres always Mark



Only kidding Mark

While sitting at the bar, a Soldier asks the Pirate, "How did you get the eye patch"? The Pirate says, "A Grapefruit squirted in my eye"..........Soldier "You lost your eye to grapefruit juice?" Pirate "Well, it was my first day with the hook"!i

Hear about the woman who married three different Microsoft employees and still died a virgin?

Her first husband was in Training, and he kept teaching her how to do it herself.

The second one was in Sales, and he kept telling her how good it was going to be in the next release.

The third was in Tech Support, and he kept saying, “Don’t worry, it’ll be up any minute now…”

Originally Posted by Scooster67

While sitting at the bar, a Soldier asks the Pirate, "How did you get the eye patch"? The Pirate says, "A Grapefruit squirted in my eye"..........Soldier "You lost your eye to grapefruit juice?" Pirate "Well, it was my first day with the hook"!i

good one

Took me awhile to find the rimshot emoticon.

So...BotGate is over , but emoticonGate continues!

What's a horny pirate's worst nightmare?
A sunken chest with no booty!

Originally Posted by NavarreMark

Took me awhile to find the rimshot emoticon.

Type it its quicker

OK, Dewey, you started it....

Two Condoms were walking by a gay bar and one said to the other...
Wanna go in and get ****-faced?

One of my best friends who is gay told me that so please don't get mad anyone....

T and squawk

Apologies to any blondes
.......


There was a beautiful young blonde who was going to a soda machine and she arrived there just before a business man coming to quench his thirst. She opened her purse and put in 50 cents, studied the machine a little, pushed a Diet Coke selection, and out came a Diet Coke which she placed on a counter by the machine. Then she reached in her purse again and pulled out a dollar and inserted it in the machine. Studying the machine carefully, she pushed the button for Coke Classic and out came a Coke Classic and 50 cents change. She immediately took the 50 cents and put it in the machine, studied it for a moment and pushed the Mountain Dew button. Out came a Mountain Dew. As she was reaching into her purse again, the business man who had been waiting patiently for several minutes now spoke up.
“Excuse me Ms. but are you done yet?”
She looked at him and indignantly replied: “Well Duhhh!, I’m still winning.”

Originally Posted by libgoon

LOL LIB, just saw that!! Cute! and true!

A little dated ........

Most of my best jokes just don't look good in print...I'll save them until we get together some day...but I have thousands of the best - it's the business I'm in I think!

I dont know the condom one was pretty good

Absent my favorites I'll go with first grade....

What's big, red and eats rocks....??? A big red rock-eater.


What's green and goes slam, slam, slam, slam....a 4 door pickle.

I still laugh pretty hard over the 4 door pickle.

A guy walks into a bar.
He fell back unconscious.

The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at six o'clock in the morning?" "There is," he replied. "Breakfast."

Q: When do you kick a midget in the balls?
A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice

Co Kerry man inventions (considered the thick -dense county in Ireland)

An inflatable dartboard

A chocolate kettle

A soluble life-raft

A self-righting aspirin

A solar-powered torch

I think the last page of the "No Subject Blog" belongs here...but I'm too lazy to move it.

LOL T

Dangit, Dangit, Dangit!!! I've been really working this hard and I just realized............

I don't have any jokes that won't offend someone...

OK, do you know why men name their .... favorite appendage????