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The ridges blog v.2

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by on 09-17-2011 at 03:19 AM (1302 Views)
OK, so I cheated. I brought up the old one and am posting it new here. I'll redo it later. So sue me.....

<a href=""><img src="" width="585" height="189" alt="R I D G E S" /></a>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>The Reedzone Institute for Dynamic Guidance in Equatorial Systems<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

<a href=""><img src="" width="352" height="69" alt="How to Guides:" /></a>

Any information that you could possibly need for executing a proper model run is located in this section. Please forward any questions to the blog, WU mail, or RIDGES Official Email.

<a href=""><img src="" width="170" height="41" alt="REED Model" /></a>

Our guide (muse?) through the waters of storm prediction, Reedzone, has exclusive rights to the REED model. The wonderful thing about the REED model is that RIDGES does no work for it. We just wait for the REED model to update itself and post it when it comes out. Though we do no work for it, the model will be updated when it comes out during the season. Thanks to Reedzone for all his hard work!

<a href=""><img src="" width="157" height="41" alt="CPB Model" /></a>

The Chicken Poop Bingo (CPB) model is the starting point for our institute. It was the first model put into use by RIDGES for two reasons: availability of subjects and chicken feed is slightly cheaper than cow feed. In the following guide, we take you through the proper steps to run the model in a Q&A session.

How did the CPB idea take flight?

During the 2010 hurricane season, there were many people that were complaining about the National Hurricane Center's computer predictions. The CPB takes a different direction, away from computers. Instead the model relies on the innate ability of animals for prediction. Everyone has heard of animals being able to predict when earthquakes happen. We took it in a different direction by predicting weather.

What do you need to make the CPB Model work?

There are three very basic items you need to give yourself just as good of a shot of predicting landfall as well as the EURO model.

1. A chicken or chick. Please note height, weight and color when doing the test as we are looking into what different varieties of chickens will do over time.

2. A board with numbers, usually going up to 40 randomly over the board. *NEW FOR 2011 RIDGES now recommends adding an additional 10 squares randomly over the board that say "FISH". The ocean is a large place and not all weather systems will hit land, hence the need for new squares. Please update your boards to 50 squares.*

3. A map of the entire Gulf, Caribbean, and Western Atlantic with numbered squares along the coastline. As a side note, we here at RIDGES understand that people usually only care about their area/country for impacts. We recommend a 40 square board for CONUS, 40 for MEX/CA and the rest of the Caribbean.

What if I don't have a chicken?

Any animal that is domesticated can be used, however, we do not stand by the validity of the results. We have found that dogs are more accurate than cats however. Make sure that as the animal size increases, so does the board. That ensures more space for the animal and a more accurate result, i.e., a small board for a chicken, an acre for a cow (RIDGES does understand that a actual board for a cow would be impossible to do and recommends gating a area roughly square-like and mark the squares appropriately).

How do you get the chicken to poop?

RIDGES recommends an outdoor setting, especially a get together. This short video should show you the proper way. One note: RIDGES does not condone the consumption of alcoholic beverages while conducting your model but also understands that better results due to inebriated, loud subjects could increase model accuracy and reduce the time of the model.

What can we do to further refine the CPB Model?

Everything should be put into "field notes". This includes obscure items such as barn color, feed manufacturer and the field researchers horoscope. These items are not completely necessary, however, they may provide input into further studies and published research papers to gain additional funding for future products.

<a href=""><img src="" width="179" height="41" alt="JJHPM Model" /></a>

Our field researcher unruly has provided us with a fantastic model for hurricane prediction. Please make sure to drop him a line so he knows his research is appreciated.

Having spent more time in bars than labs, unruly thought of a model based on darts. He quickly discarded this idea as unoriginal and not an improvement of the CPB.

He then had some ingenious ideas using chimpanzees, however he had to put this plan on the shelf due to the lack of access to live chimps to do the raw research.

After a couple more hours (and beers), he then had the inspiration for the JJHPM. The Jeremiah Johnson Hurricane Prediction Model.

I now will give you his discription of how the to put together this model and his first field test.

<em>"I obtained the services of a trusty research assistant who wishes to remain anonymous. I procured 2 1 inch thick 4X8 pieces of plywood, 4 2X4s and a case of Bud Light. We quickly assembled the wood into a 8X8 target."

"This was a trial run to gain research data. The target was only blank wood. In the actual model, the target would be marked to simulate the East Coast, GOM, MX, CA and Caribbean."</em> <strong>As a side note, we are now including "FISH" on the board.</strong>

<em>"We then took a hatchet, and proceeded to throw it at the target. Not having thrown hatchets for awhile, it took each of us 10 to 20 throws before we could consistantly sink the head of the hatchet into the target. We had a few more beers, took some more throws, and grew bored with it."

"I then got my hand axe. Due to weight and balance considerations, it again took about 10 to 20 throws each for us to consistantly strike the target correctly. A few of the throws actually went completely through the target."

"It was then that I genious of what we were doing struck me. Not only could we get a prediction of the path of a TC, and simulate intensity, but we could do IMPACT FORECASTING."

"I then grabbed my full sized double bladed axe. Again it took 10 to 20 throws to consistantly hit the target the proper way. Approximately half of the throws went completely through the target. Even a few that hit handle first."

"About this time the target was completely destroyed and was of no further use. The beer was gone, and we concluded the nights research."</em>

When sending in information, please gather any useful data you can. Weight of the axe, weight of the person throwing it, distance from your board, type of wood the board is made of, consumption of alcohol, and anything else you can think of are very important when entering data into the mainframe.

<a href=""><img src="" width="271" height="82" alt="About Us:" /></a>

<a href=""><img src="" width="230" height="49" alt="RIDGES HQ" /></a>

RIDGES is a multi-dollar, no-profit (not because we don't want profit, we just don't have any) Institute located in the basement of a house in the beautiful loneliness of the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. Set against Lake Superior, we are able to do research during bitingly cold and snowy winters, muggy and mosquito filled summers and entirely too short spring and fall seasons. We have thought about getting funding to get a new building but have yet to meet a very rich benefactor. RIDGES believes in only all-natural ingredients for any models that need them and contributes to the environment by cleaning up after a test is done. RIDGES has no official position on Global Warming and when confronted about it will bring up aliens building the pyramids in Egypt for a distraction. And for a record, RIDGES has no official position on the existence of aliens.

<a href=""><img src="" width="188" height="49" alt="Researchers" /></a>

Contributors to the Institute are our Guide, Reedzone, on-hand researchers DestinJeff and FLDewey, along with our field researchers srada, CaptainKid, tkeith, swamplily, PSLFLCaneVet, GrillinInTheEye, NavarreMark, JupiterFL, CosmicEvents, WXHEAD, geepy86, Couillon, Jeff9641 unruly, DontAnnoyMe, Jamiekins, PrivateIdaho, traumaboyy, toddluck, and seflagamma. If I have missed anyone, I do apologize and will update when you contact.

<a href=""><img src="" width="435" height="50" alt="Contact Us/Idea Submission" /></a>

We would like to hear from you! There are a number of ways to introduce yourself to RIDGES. You can email RIDGES at, WUmail, or just say "HI" on the blog. All new ideas for new models should be emailed to the Official RIDGES Email for research and editing. All new ideas go before a panel of experts before being released. All parties involved will be updated prior to the release date of when it shall be done.

RIDGES would like to thank everyone for visiting the blog!

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  1. PrivateIdaho's Avatar
    It's like deja vu all over again.

  2. FLBelle's Avatar
    Lol @ The Jeremiah Johnson Hurricane Prediction Model....thanks for that SuperYooper.:D
  3. GrillinInTheEye's Avatar
    Where is my avatar!!! I worked hard on her. j/k
  4. FLdewey's Avatar
  5. kaiden's Avatar
    I like it, I might want to work on the JJHPM sometime.
  6. SuperYooper's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by GrillininTheEye
    Where is my avatar!!! I worked hard on her. j/k
    Everythings a work in progress.

    I wanted the blog to be bigger. Limit of 10,000 characters.

  7. SuperYooper's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by kaiden
    I like it, I might want to work on the JJHPM sometime.
    If I can get ADMIN to make da pages bigger, you will want to do the TTBP Model....the Table Top Beer Pong Model. Excellent in hurricane prediction and plenty of test areas.
  8. Tulsahurrcane's Avatar
    is it reallly possible to sue you? I think I'll explore it it a little further.
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