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August:Into the Maelstrom?

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by on 08-01-2017 at 08:01 AM (21220 Views)
It’s here – the real meat of “The Season” and it’s the time of year when a storm can form almost anywhere(watch those hot tubs!)

The NHC should have stocked up on yellow, orange and red crayons by now because they’re going to need them.

Somewhere out there the CV seed of DOOM is probably already festerizing.

So, does DOOM cometh? Of course it does, it’s just a matter of time until the big Juan!

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  1. InTheCone's Avatar
    I'm going to be first new blog to bring over Triple K's great writing....

    I woke up and turned on the computer right away just to see if Tampa still existed...well, not right away, I did a couple of important things and made sure my coffee cup was full before I clicked on the Bunker. Juan should not face adversity without a cup of coffee...

    I was gratified to see that no Juan suffered from sun burn, nausea or boredom waiting for the overblown storm to overblow, or is it blow over? But then it would carry the connotation of blowing twice, like a "do over" only blowing.
    But just remember the sacrifices made for those who would survive did not go unnoticed. Trash day, the spent beer cartridges lying in trash bags clinking together when tossed into the garbage truck will never tell the tale of horror brought on by REAL #2 options put into effect. The sadness of watching the last Juan standing fall and the tears that come when (after some effort) the walk to the fridge and subsequent search finds it out of ammo...yes, sad indeed. Or, when you finally settle in and grab a fresh clip, only to find the chips bag has dwindled down to small crumbs and salt. The fresh bag is there, next to the fridge on the counter, but it may as well be on the moon because the war wounds make their (real or imagined) presence known and make it nearly impossible to eject Juan's self from the easy chair. A wretched face with a grimace looks up and through clenched teeth and with a fist held out to the enemy, "Damn you B*****!" is the veterans response as he attempts to lift himself up. He falls back down and as he looks at the clock, he realizes tha tthe battle is almost over, but a sudden pain shoots through his body and he looks over at his arm..NO! NO! The sun has found a small slit in the window shade and now he has a small sunburn. He stumbles to the counter throwing items this way and that! "Where is it!???" "WHERE???!!!" He finally grasps 2 bottles, a sunblock and sunburn lotion. He slowly slides to the floor holding his wounded arm. Breathing hard, perspiration beading on his forehead he brings the first bottle up before his eyes! No! It is too late for sunblock, the damage is done, the Emily (enemy) has drawn first blood, now he must carefully treat his wound or he may have dire consequences! At last he grabs the lotion and taking a wad of cloth, he bites down hard and begins to rub the lotion on the burn. He tortures himself for allowing himself to be so easily taken. He thought he had checked all angles. But now his ineptness has written its accusation on his arm and he will have to deal with it in the future.
    He lies there recuperating, his beer warming a scant few feet away, the chips have fallen to the floor, in his effort to find medical treatment he pushed it off to the floor. He is wallowing in self pity and remorse..and trying to search deep within himself for the courage to get up and face reality.
    He hears a noise.
    He turns his head to see the dog poking his head through the pet door. Bowser the dog seems to be in a cheery mood, that dog smile they always have with their mouth open and tongue hanging out, normally a welcome sight, but now the dog seemed to be mocking him! As he gazed at the dog, he could see outside and there appeared to be something moving! what was it?? NO! No! Not again! It was the trash can. It had blown over!!
    The sight was too much for him. He leaned over and sank to the floor and sobbed...Why?
    He lie there wondering what the guys in the bunker would think of him if they saw him like this.
    Bowser came over and licked his face. He pushed him away, he would not be comforted...
    They would come and find his dead corpse, a scene of disaster as another storm claims a life. The detective shakes his head, another open and shut case. "It was Emily all right....all right boys,tag 'em and bag 'em.."
    A smile came to his face when he thinks of his funeral and the nice things they will say about him and the send off he will get at the Bunker, a true soldier for the cause, died from wounds sustained in an attack on Tampa-ish!

    Just then his wife and son come in through the front door, he springs into action and jumps for the chair, swooping a fresh bag of Cheetos as he flies by. He plops into the chair just as his wife walks into the room..
    "It wasn't bad at all, they didn't even cancel cheerleading drizzled a little at first but that was it.."
    "Oh? OK. Well, that's good dear..."
    He takes a sip of his beer. The coolie did its job, it was still refreshingly cold.

    Bowser came up and put his paws up on the chair begging for a chip.

    "Just one, you little extortionist! You better keep your trap shut!"

    Bowser agreed and sat down to eat his chip.

    Another story of preparation, execution, survival and rehabilitation...

    Fade to black.
    Fade in: Driveway.
    Zoom in to trash can rolling slightly in the breeze...
    Ominous horror music plays....maniacal laughter
    Long black.
    laughter suddenly stops
    Roll credits...
  2. InTheCone's Avatar
    Nice work as always Triple K! When's the movie coming out?
  3. hurricat's Avatar

    Or is Kid first? Does Cone count?

  4. hurricat's Avatar
    We had a thorough drencheroo last night, a last swipe by Emily as she left town.
  5. Aislinn's Avatar
    Good morning and afternoon, everyjuan! Hmm, instead of doing dogs, putting out trash, cleaning pantry out, cleaning the cat litter and making my bed, I should have logged on so for once I could be first! I think I'm failing in learning how to sleep in late. But I never give up!

    Breakfast's on the sideboard: Sweet Crepes with Caramelized Pears, candied bacon, cinnamon sugar waffles, thick slices of smoked ham, crispy Golden Home Fries, cheddar biscuits and gravy, bourbon-glazed pork chops and fried eggs, yogurt, fresh fruit, tea and coffee. Enjoy!
  6. InTheCone's Avatar
    Ais' SummerCast - Well, at least it's now August...

    Today: Partly sunny. Highs in the lower 90s. East winds up to 5 mph.

    Tonight: Mostly cloudy. Lows in the lower 70s. East winds up to 5 mph.
  7. InTheCone's Avatar
    Morning HCat and Aislinn!

    No rain here from Emily the Wimp™, maybe today from the leftovers & if not it's going to get dry again.


    I'll have some thick slices of smoked ham, crispy Golden Home Fries, cheddar biscuits and gravy, bourbon-glazed pork chops and fried eggs, and coffee - TYVM Aislinn & keep trying to sleep late. Maybe it's a learned skill & if so I have failed miserably.
  8. kaiden's Avatar
    Good Morning All. It is 68 and nice outside. Opened a couple of windows for some fresh air inside, but it will not last for long.

    Cone its a nice new home you made for us. It is also nice to see the real "Most Interesting Man in the World". The new one is not as interesting.

    And now for some breakfast, Aislinn could you please pass a plate of cheddar biscuits and gravy, and a cup of coffee please and thank you.
  9. LaughingCat's Avatar
    Genius, thy name is Triple K.
  10. InTheCone's Avatar
    Morning Kai!

    I have to agree - the new Juan is a "poser" as the kids would say.
  11. MSGAL's Avatar
    Hiya Peeps..just checkin in..haven't had a chance to read back yet...but am anxious to do that..Vac was good..lotta rain...ate too much..gotta detoxify..get back to discipline of the right things...I will feel better when I do..draggy today...but still good to go..Love to all
  12. Aislinn's Avatar
    Hey Cone, Kaiden, LC and MSGAL! I refuse to give up trying, Cone! One day I will wake up and it will be nine am. And then I'll wake up and realize it was a dream and it's only 6 am. Sigh

    Passes Cone a large platter with thick slices of smoked ham, crispy Golden Home Fries, cheddar biscuits and gravy, bourbon-glazed pork chops and fried eggs, and a pot of coffee and Kaiden a plate of cheddar biscuits and gravy, and a cup of coffee
  13. InTheCone's Avatar
    Hi LC & MSG!

    So happy to hear you had a good vacay MSG, you'll be back to normal in a day or so causing mayhem all around the house.

    I had a most distressing thought about sleeping in - my kids are on vacay in central europe, 6 hrs. ahead of my time. I still get up before they do
  14. Landfall2004's Avatar
    I was heading up to bed about 10:30PM when I heard Emily barreling, I say barreling, thru.

    It was a terrible, horrible..................thing.

    Slept right thru it.
  15. McBart ender's Avatar
    Hey! Nice new place to play in. Thanks for the new digs Cone.

    ...and what's this in the GOM? IF it were in the "Bay of Canned Peaches™" I'd be more concerned, but as it is I have yard work to do. BBL or not

  16. InTheCone's Avatar
    Howdy LF & Barkeep!

    No rain here yet, but I'm still hopeful.

    Don't worry Barkeep, that cloud will have a name by dinner time, or maybe even before
  17. Ossqss's Avatar
    Here we go again....

  18. InTheCone's Avatar
    Maybe this Juan will bring me some
  19. Ossqss's Avatar
    Looked like you got a good drenching earlier today Cone?
  20. InTheCone's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Ossqss
    Looked like you got a good drenching earlier today Cone?
    That's the way most of the wet season has been this year, it looks like we are going to get a real good drencheroo and then it either fizzles out or goes around us. Juan of these days it'll get here
  21. StAugustineFL's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Ossqss
    Here we go again....

  22. StAugustineFL's Avatar
    Barkeep called it. TS Franklin? If James Franklin were still on duty it would surely be "TD at 11". #Cos. Maybe juan of the other forecasters will upgrade in his honor.
  23. McBart ender's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by StAugustineFL
    Barkeep called it. TS Franklin? If James Franklin were still on duty it would surely be "TD at 11". #Cos. Maybe juan of the other forecasters will upgrade in his honor.
    Thanks St.Aug. Occasionally the Bunker gets Juan right. Or rather, Occasionally the establishment gets it right. The Bunker gets it right all the time.

    NIGHT SHIFT ON DUTY! Sleep well America, Your Bunker is awake.

    "Drinking Helps™"
  24. KanKunKid's Avatar
    Set upon by another "reply-gate" scandal and the ensuing lack of referring text, I will strike out on blank white background...
    Thank you for the accolades, but I just call them as I see them.. of course a wee bit of satire never hurt any Juan..

    Nothing to report here.
    Another day of newlywed "bliss" also known as the adjustment period where the couple finds out what the other is REALLY like and reacts to it.
    Somehow, I find myself expected to acquiesce to the way my bride does things around a household, seeing as she was here before me. However, I have years of experience in running a household, the American way! She is not impressed.
    For example:
    Fans are a necessary evil for many households here, and I bought one of large capacity, but it is the oscillating kind.
    When I am present in the room, I aim it at my general location and turn it up to the second to the highest level. At this level, it sounds like a Cessna 172 in cruise configuration. Even though it may at times feel like a hair dryer blowing hot humid air at me, at least my sweat glands' efforts are not entirely for nothing.
    However, when the Mrs is in charge, she sets the fan to "oscillate" mode, at a lower setting even if she is the only Juan in the room.
    That is fine for her, the fan distributes it benefits for a short period of time only to a certain area that actually does benefit, and then the rest (most) of the time it just goes to waste, performing the function it was programmed to do, which is to serve the majority, kind of like a benefit program for special interest groups set up by the Government.
    I change it when I come into the room. After all, it is all about me when she isn't there, when she is, I split the difference, at least I get a breeze all the time and so does she, but she cannot see why oscillation isn't better.
    I tried to show her.
    I probably should just have stood there when the air was NOT blowing on me instead of doing the chicken dance. I stopped when the air was blowing on me and resumed when it went on..She was supposed to be timing the intervals, but was laughing too hard.
    My chicken dance was too much for her.
    But even though she agreed by reason of my authority and not by scientific proof, she will occasionally walk by and click the "oscillation" button, just to "get my goat!"
    This results in a chase and a merciless tickle session (her being the tickle-ee).
    She has yet to learn her lesson.

    Adjusting to the life of a tropical Island life with foreign ideas and culture will take some time and effort. But as the the great Inspector Clouseau once said, (in a thick French accent) "I accept the Shallonge!!"

    which I can only do because:

  25. Ossqss's Avatar
    I say we crowd source for an additional fan KKKid for ultimate happyness!

    You could then change your plan to "I have a fan"

    Looking at wind patterns in the Gulf on myradar at the moment, which I cannot share easily, looks like a LLC is trying hard for connect. Shear is probably still an issue, and not a fan for development yet! '
    Updated 08-02-2017 at 03:54 AM by Ossqss
  26. McBart ender's Avatar
    As a Propulsion Design Engineer, and a husband of almost 30 yrs (30 yrs anniversary in November) I have a solution.

    I say again; "I have a solution!"

    Buy Two Fans!!!

    You can not dispute the advantage of two fans! Set one to high speed on your person, thus taking advantage of all the thermodynamic effects of surface cooling and sweat evaporation. The second fan (a minor investment financially) will be set to the wife's desires. You ( A person of science, not emotion) will tke advantage of all of the cooling benefits of the fan which you control. While the wife gets her own fan to control to whatever desire she sees fit. It matters not whether her desire follows the laws of thermodynamics (or common sense) what matters is the laws of matrimony. IS SHE HAPPY! and DOES SHE FEEL IN CONTROL!!! (Not that she IS in control, but does she FEEL it?)

    Christ 3K. I've been married only Juance. You have multiple experiences in these matters. For the price of only Juan additional fan, there is now a "HIS FAN" and a "HER FAN". It matters not what she does with "her fan".

    This is not 'Rocket Science". Oh, and if it were 'rocket science'... I can handle that too!

    Night shift to the nuptual rescue.
  27. Ossqss's Avatar
    I would add to Barts comment, buy a Fan with a remote control for when she is not around
    Updated 08-02-2017 at 04:29 AM by Ossqss (BTW, I use my phone to control those too with the IR blaster. Drives people crazy for fun. Congrats on 30 Bart!)
  28. McBart ender's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Ossqss
    I would add to Barts comment, buy a Fan with a remote control for when she is not around
    Thank you OSS, but I'm not there yet. There's much that can happen between now and November.

    ...but we'll probably make it.
    Updated 08-02-2017 at 05:15 AM by McBart ender (Yes, I have a fantastic partner (wife). I have no idea what I ever did to deserver her, she is wondrful.)
  29. McBart ender's Avatar
    Night-Shift rules!!!

    ...until day shift, then they rule.

    "Drinking helps" ™
  30. InTheCone's Avatar
    Good Morning Bunkerites!

    I think I can sort of qualify for both shifts in some fashion or another.

    I never thought I would see the day where the Euro was the most aggressive model in developing TC's, but today it is. It is the only model to show any development over the next week or so....

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